Alcohol and me-and you too

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By Pastor Tim Wolf

Use and abuse of alcohol is a very personal issue that becomes intensely interpersonal the moment someone under the influence interacts with others. Someone can transform from loving and caring to dangerous and self-serving with just a drink or two. I was that person and I have worked with many people whose lives were controlled by alcohol and other substances.

In my childhood, it was customary for children to "have a sip" at weddings and family functions. I can remember seeing adults acting foolishly, unkindly, and dangerously after "a few drinks." Those "innocent sips" primed the pump for my future struggles with alcohol.

When I was growing up in New Jersey, the legal drinking age was 18. I never broke the law. However, when I turned 18, I started drinking with a vengeance. My twisted goal in life was to prove I was a man by showing how much alcohol I could consume at one time. Growing up watching other family members struggle with addictions had not deterred me from my own destructive course.

It is ironic that I attended a "dry" college in Pennsylvania, where the legal age was 21. I would merely go to my home state for a drink. I shudder to think how many times between 18 and 23 years old I drove drunk. My selfishness could have ended in tragedy any number of times.

Everyone thinks they are in control when they consume alcohol. I remember the night that I realized that alcohol was controlling me. I had graduated from college and taken a job in North Jersey. It hit me that I was having a drink (or two) for lunch, dinner, after work, and one to help me get to sleep. About a year before, that I had committed my life to Jesus Christ. Many bad habits had become history but there was a war going on inside of me; who would I serve, God or alcohol? For me there was no place for both and there was no comparison. I had seen and experienced the ravages of alcohol abuse. I went to my apartment one night and poured out $200 worth of liquor. I have not had a drink of alcohol since and have never missed it.

After graduate school, where I received my master’s degree in pastoral counseling, I served in counseling and student development at two colleges. I worked with students who had the same kinds of struggles I dealt with. It was personal, because I knew the battle had already begun in those young lives.

I thank God that he helped me deal with the issue of alcohol early in my life. With my intense and addictive personality alcohol would have been the ruin of what has been 26 wonderful years of marriage and ministry.

In the last few years, my concerns over alcohol became personal on a different level. I have two sons. One is 20 and the other 15. While they have grown up in a "dry" home, I know that the temptations to fit in and self-medicate are all around them. They live in a culture that encourages excessive drinking — where parents will illegally, and sadly, provide alcohol for their children’s parties.

I have no delusions that most people will choose my lifestyle of abstinence from alcohol. Our culture does not encourage that and it was a very personal choice. I will tell you that if you do consume alcohol, now is the time to examine your use or abuse. Don’t wait until it ruins your body, your job, your family, or someone else’s family.

Our community has a great opportunity to learn more about alcohol use/abuse through EmPoWER Somerset’s Somerset Initiative for Partying Safely (SIPS). Join us at the community forum on April 28 at Raritan Valley Community College from 6-8 p.m. Visit EmPoWERsomerset.com and click on the SIPS/HOPE Community Forum registration announcement on the right side of the home page in the "Did You Know?" box.

Pastor Tim Wolf is the Lead Pastor of New Horizon Christian Fellowship, Hillsborough (NewHorizonag.org). He has more than 25 years of counseling experience working with young adults and families.