Hillsborough: Program to Offer Coping Skills to Military Women

Hillsborough Beacon

By Audrey Levine, Staff Writer

World War II retired cadet Army nurse Mildred Murphy, of Chandler Court, remembers watching a soldier die in her arms while she served her country.

And for years, she could not bear to speak about the tragedy.

But Ms. Murphy said she hopes some women will learn to be able to speak about their experiences and not keep them bottled up through a program being offered to military women to teach coping skills for managing stress.

Hillsborough Township will host the Achieving Personal Balance Program for Military Women through EmPoWER (Encouraging Prevention With Education and Resources, formerly the Somerset Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependency) Somerset, beginning March 30 at the municipal building. The program will take place every Tuesday until May 18 from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

”The main content of the program is a based on an evidence-based 16-unit curriculum that addresses managing stress and reinforces positive coping skills,” said Committeeman Anthony Ferrera, who is also the director of operations for EmPoWER Somerset.
Through the program, Mr. Ferrera said, participants will learn about developing positive coping skills, increasing connections to social support networks, maintaining stress management techniques and choosing healthy alternatives to alcohol and drug use, among other skills.

The program, Mr. Ferrera said, is being offered through a state-funded initiative that has partnered with the New Jersey Prevention Network Services for members of the military and their families.

”It was an identified priority for funding from the New Jersey Department of Human Services Division of Addiction Services,” he said. “It is being funded through a state grant from the New Jersey Department of Human Services Division of Addiction Services in partnership with the New Jersey Prevention Network. Services are being offered throughout the state under this initiative.”

The program, according to EmPoWER Somerset Assistant Director Brenda Esler, is based on another called “Coping with Work and Family Stress,” which was put in place in 2003. It deals, she said, in several cycles, looking at stress, examining stressful situations, using a personal network, using deep breathing, listening, responding and assertive communication, among other steps.

As of this week, Mr. Ferrera said, five women have confirmed they will be attending the program, and three others have expressed interest.

In speaking with some veterans she knows, Ms. Murphy said she convinced three women to join her for the group.  According to Ms. Murphy, many soldiers return from war suffering post traumatic stress disorder, but, for the men, they are told not to show emotions so they do not share what they witnessed during war.

”Many times men cannot show emotions because it is considered not strong,” she said. “World War II veterans never spoke about what they saw because they were told boys don’t cry.”

But, she said, even many of the nurses who served during war have difficulty expressing their emotions about what they experienced, and this kind of program could help with that.

”I had some difficult experiences and saw some horrible sights,” she said. “For nurses to be able to speak up and get rid of what they are keeping inside (is great).”

For the most part, Ms. Murphy said, when she was in the service, she was told not to show emotion while among the soldiers who had been admitted to the hospital. Instead, she said, they were allowed to do so once they had left the floor, a policy that sometimes carried over to their lives after the war.

”When people come back from war, they stay that way, not breaking down in front of everyone,” she said.

In those cases, she said, it is possible they will suffer from depression or turn to drugs or alcohol.

”I’m sure this program will be helpful to many people,” she said. “We don’t know how individual people deal with situations.”

Although EmPoWER Somerset has been offering this kind of program for more than five years, Mr. Ferrera said, this is the first time it has been geared strictly to a military audience and will be offered again in the fall.

Ms. Murphy said she believes the program will be successful because the women in attendance will be able to speak about what they saw and experienced and learn how to deal with it. For those who are veterans from Vietnam or even World War II, she said, she believes it is never too late to learn how to cope with the stresses of wartime.

”I don’t think it’s ever too late to release whatever they’re feeling,” she said. “You always need someone to talk to.”

Even for those who are still in the service, Ms. Murphy said, this program will be beneficial in helping them cope early on with what they have seen in the war.

”People who are active are younger, and they can’t always understand what’s happening,” she said. “They don’t realize until after it’s all over.”

The final meeting of the program will be held at Massage Envy on Route 206 where participants will be treated to a free massage or facial. Owner Greg Robertson said he was approached by Mr. Ferrera to participate in the program, and he agreed right away.

”It’s a great thing,” he said. “From my perspective, I’m very supportive of the troops overseas. Anything we can do to make their lives more palatable for them when they come back (is great).”

Mr. Robertson said he is also proud to be able to help veterans themselves, who might be coping with anxiety or stress from their pasts in the service.

”This program raises awareness,” he said. “Overall, for veterans, programs like this get more focus and attention for the veterans. The Spa Night is in line with everything the program is representing.”

To register, call EmPoWER Somerset Office Manager Wendy Bender at 908-722-4900. Space has been limited to the first 10 people who register for it.

Click here for more information about programs to assist military members and veterans.